Meltdown...

I am feeling the beginning of nuclear meltdown over here. It started on Friday when I had a panic attack in the craft store. Too much caffeine, dinner together which of course had to include conversation, a friend having a crisis, and constant reminders in the form of happy couples and cute babies, left me struggling to breathe in the middle of the craft store. I finished my shopping and went home. What else could I do?

I managed to make it through the rest of the weekend ok, but last night we had another conversation. He started asking why we were getting divorced. Now, he is trying to convince me that he isn't gay. He is saying that his problems in the bedroom were because I was pressuring him too much. I just can't take it all. But what else can I do? continue to put one foot in front of the other. I can't seem to get up today. Every couple minutes my hands start shaking. I spent an hour in the shower because I just didn't have the strength to stand up. I don't know what the next couple days hold for me....